When me and my partner Rob found out I was pregnant it couldn't be much more than a shock.
We were very happy that we were having a baby together and when we got used to the idea we finally told our parents and family, everyone was so excited.  We then went away on holiday to Cornwall and thats where we told my step son Ryan he was going to be a big brother.  We took ryan to the beach just the 3 of us and sat him down and explained what was going to happen and that nothing would change how we felt about him. He was over the moon for a 3yr old and told me he wanted a sister and a brother and at this time we thought we were just having the one baby so we said you will have to wait and see.

Towards the end of the holiday I begun to go off food and felt really ill but didnt think it could be morning sickness till it become constant when  I went home.  When I got home it only got worse I began to be sick constantly not being able to keep anything down at all, but I still plodded on.

I went shopping with my mum for baby bits and then a problem hit me hard,  I was hit in the tummy by a shopping trolley and I doubled up in pain couldnt breathe and couldnt talk so I was rushed home and checked by the midwife and got the all clear.  A few days past and I begun to be more ill, I was sick 12 times in an hour so I was rushed to Basildon hospital and kept in on a drip.   No food no drink nothing and people scaning my belly but not told a thing.  I was then wheeled down to have a scan and the nurse said you do know why your having this sickness dont you and of course I replied because I'm pregnant and she looked at me like I was mad.   She called my partner in and begun to explian to us that the reason I was so ill was because there was twins in there and an egg that was fertilized but not grown any. 

Shock hit,  I didn't know whether I was happy sad or what.   We weren't prepared for that and just took it in and then was happy as ever.  So I went home and I was in and out for months with sickness.   I lost 3 stone with the sickness in 3 weeks.

Time went on and you wouldn't have known I was pregnant.  I began to go for scans regually and cried each time I saw our babies.   It was amazing the sense of protection and love was overwhelming. 

I hit 13 weeks and begun to bleed heavy.   I rung the midwife and got voicemail and I rung the hospital and they said theres nothing they could do and then I had to just go to bed after hearing that me and my partner who, can I add we are not religious, prayed for the twins to stay in side me and not to leave us.   All night we held eachother and I had my legs crossed the hole night lol.

I woke up still bleeding, I rung the out of hours doctor and he said that the twins are fine I had just lost the 3 egg as it was not growing.   I was happy with that, my babies were there.

So life went on eventfull as I was still teaching in nursery with 2 yr olds so the questions were eventfull lots of whys and wheres etc but I kept them informed of what I was going through all the time.   I then hit 20 weeks and had fake labour so I was yet again back in hospital and given steroid injections, boy did they hurt.  After I left there I was due for a scan so we decided to find out what the twins were.  Twin 1 had its legs crossed and twin 2 was a girl. Great, so each time we went we asked about twin 1 and each time without fail it kept it a secret. until 28 weeks when she opened her legs and we then knew for sure we had 2 girls.  I was happy we had names for them and could then buy bits for them both.

At 33 weeks I was watching tv and my partner was playing evening football and I was ment to be resting as twin 1 had stopped moving for ages,  I was in hospital a day to find her again.  I had to give up work and rest all day which drove me mad.  On the night of the 15th March I was watching tv all alone waiting for my partner in extreme pain as I had back pain for a week and when my partner finally turned up he cooked me some rice.  I ate that and bent down to pick up the bowl to go to bed and felt a trickle of water.   I shouted and then nothing, my partner  was waiting for me to say I love you but I didnt then there was a whooosh of water.  He said whats up, I said I've either wet myself or I'm in labour.  Then more water came and more and more eventually I waddled upstairs grabbed a beach towel and sat on it and rung labour ward who told me to use a sanitry towel.  I didn't, I had to use two beach towels. 

I didn't have any contractions untill I stepped outside the door at 5 to 9 at night.   I was then told by my partner he had to get petrol so I was having contractions every 3mins apart and sitting in a garage station.  We were then on our way to the hospital.  When we got there I had to walk from the multi story carpark the otherside of the hospital. 

When I got to the ward they left me in a room for half an hour untill I screamed I'm pushing if you like it or not so give me some pain killers lol.   Then people poured in to see my daughters legs hanging out and she was breech so I pased out on gas and air and was slapped to wake up and sign my name and anyone who has this has no idea what the hell is going on and signs anywhere.  I was repeated told off for that. I was then taken down to the c section room and I had to have a spinal block and I was totally against that I want to be asleep the whole thing but if I didnt Rob could come in and I wanted him there.  So I said yeah to it all.  I was then being cut open and my daughters were both pulled out of me 1 by 1.

Emily Mae was born at 11.06 and Bethany Marie ws at 11.07 at night.  I was then in recovery by half past I then fell asleep for hours.  I woke up to be taken down to a ward at 4am.  Once I got there I hadn't seen my twins or touched them.  My partner was given a photo so I kept that and stared at it all night and finally at 8am me and Rob went to meet the twins.  

Beth was on a ventilator and Emily was snoring away, both doing well. Emily then jumped rooms  and was getting ready to come home after 4 weeks and Beth caught up after 3 days apart.   Both of them didn't sleep for those 3 days until they were together again. 

After 4 long weeks of going back and forward to hospital as a daily routine they were coming home.  I was discharged a day after giving birth having a c-section.  I was walking around expressing milk and traveling alone to the hospital.

When they came home Rob took a week off as that's all we could aford and we loved spending time with them.  When Rob went back to work I was on my own.  I begun to panic so I sat down and thought this is it, just me and them,  we can do this.   We have been fine, strong and a little team we cope and get things done and they are as good as gold and so easy to look after and yes if I had to be pregnant again I would want twins as they are easier that the one.  I love you two girls to bits zxxxxxxx